


grow as we go

by antpelts



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Apologies, Canon Compliant, Forgiveness, Friendship, Gen, Healing, Personal Growth, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:48:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24937078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antpelts/pseuds/antpelts
Summary: “Hey.”“Hi.”Jeremy was conscious to uncross his arms, instead he crossed his legs at the ankles, absentmindedly rubbing his converse together. His hands moved to press down onto the bench on either side of his legs, fingernails picking at chipping paint. They didn’t meet eyes but it was okay.
Relationships: Christine Canigula & Jeremy Heere
Comments: 4
Kudos: 8





	grow as we go

**Author's Note:**

> yeah.. many thoughts about these two. things arent perfect but theyre okay. they gotta heal on their own for a bit but,, they care abt each other
> 
> im working on lots of bigger things so i just kinda wanted to put something kinda soft out there

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

Jeremy was conscious to uncross his arms, instead he crossed his legs at the ankles, absentmindedly rubbing his converse together. His hands moved to press down onto the bench on either side of his legs, fingernails picking at chipping paint. They didn’t meet eyes but it was okay.

Before the silence could stretch on Jeremy cleared his throat and forced some words out, desperately trying to bridge the gap, “it’s great, uh, it’s great that you’re.. getting to go up to New York. I’m so.. happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Christine lifted her head and flashed a smile, wide enough that her eyes crinkled at the corners. “Really.”

“You didn’t.. need to hear me, uh, say that. Though.” Jeremy sniffed quietly, pulling his legs up onto the bench so his knees pressed up to his chest. He reached down to pick at the peeling rubber on his shoes, chewing on his lip.

“No,” Christine started, tipping her head to the side as she hummed quietly, “but it’s nice.”

After a beat Jeremy turned his head and briefly met Christine’s eyes, offering up his own slight smile. She unclasped her hands and lifted them from her lap, pressing one down on Jeremy’s shoulder as she spun to face him. He tensed a bit in response, but his smile pulled a bit wider.

“You really d..deserve it.”

“I know,” it came after a second and Christine furrowed her brows briefly as she looked down at her lap. A second later she quickly lifted her head and squeezed his shoulder, her smile was tight lipped but genuine. “Thank you.”

“I.. for?” Jeremy glanced down at her arm and then back to her face, one hand moving to nervously push up his glasses, wondering if there was something he’d missed.

“For caring.” Christine shrugged like it was the most simple thing in the world, as if it was just written out in front of her. She seemed to notice his confusion and continued, expression pinched with gentle concern, “you were trying. In the only way you could.”

“But it was.. I was..” Jeremy quickly shook his head, the look in his eyes begged her to take back the thanks he didn’t deserve. “I used my own problems to.. I put all of that on you and you didn’t deserve th-that. I hurt you. Horribly. When you were squipped.. I.. that was horrible of me.”

“I know.” Christine’s voice was soft and she slowly drew her hand away, fingers moving to absentmindedly tug at a thread dangling from the bottom of her jacket. “And now you know that too. That’s more important than anything.”

Silently, Jeremy nodded along. His brows drew together in that way - that way that showed off the internal conflict clearly. He was crossing the bridge between where he was and where he wanted to be and he was trying, but the bridge kept rocking underneath him. Searching, he was searching, trying to find the middle between accepting sentiments he didn’t believe he fully deserved and recognizing that he was recovering. 

“You’re going.. to do great things,” was all he managed to settle on, folding his hands in his lap.

“So are you.” Christine was beaming now, even if there was something a little sad in her eyes, “we all are. Okay?”

“Okay,” Jeremy breathed, scratching at the back of his hands. His smile was more real this time. “Thank you.”

“I wish we could’ve met now,” her voice was softer now, the sadness behind her eyes shined a little brighter.

“I’m sorry.” Jeremy shifted a bit uncomfortably, “for what it’s wo..worth.”

“It’s worth a lot,” Christine said quickly, leaning over to settle a hand on top of his own two. With her free hand she briefly rubbed at the corner of her eye. “We’re gonna be alright. I really think so.”

“Me too.” For the first time Jeremy believed it, too. 

“Good luck this fall,” Christine said softly, leaning in to press a soft kiss to Jeremy’s cheek. She squeezed his hand before standing up and smoothing out her skirt. “Thank you, for this.”

“You don’t.. need to thank me.” That wasn’t even Jeremy trying to dodge it or trying to put himself down, back into the place he’d been in that kicked everything off. It was just a simple fact. 

“I know,” she said, brows pinching together, “but I did.”

All Jeremy could manage was a nod, smoothing palms over his cargo shorts.

“I’ll be home for Thanksgiving break,” a statement and an extended offer for a gentle truce.

“Me too.. I’ll uh..” Jeremy’s brows pinched together as he weighed his words. “I’ll text you?”

“I’ll answer,” she responded, this time her smile showed off her teeth. “See ya later, Jer.”

The tightness in his throat wasn’t entirely bad, just overwhelming, so he lifted a hand and gave a small wave.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments mean the world


End file.
